Memories
by Phoenix-chan
Summary: Wufei is yearning for Treize. Shonen-ai angst on Wufei's part, but nothing too much more. R&R!!


Memories

The year is After Colony 197.Peace has returned to the Colonies.The Gundams were destroyed at the end of Mariemeia's declaration of war and resulting battle.And for the first time in their lives, the Gundam pilots were at peace.All except one.Chang Wufei was not at peace.Of course, for those that knew him, Chang Wufei never seemed to be at peace.

After the war, Trowa had gone off with Quatre, and Heero, after finally realizing how much of a bimbo Relena really was, had ditched her and confessed his love for Duo.The two were now living in harmony, or what passed for harmony with them, on one of the quieter colonies.Wufei had gone off with Sally Po after the war, and he had tried to be happy, but his dreams were constantly haunted by the man with the ginger hair.

Treize.

No matter what Wufei tried, he could not banish Treize from his thoughts.He couldn't after the end of Zechs' war, and he had ended up joining Mariemeia.He had told Heero that it was because the Gundams were no longer needed, but in reality, it was a sick sort of retribution to the girl, and maybe even to Treize himself.He wanted to atone for his sins.

But what sin had he committed?He had killed Treize, that was true, but none of the other Gundam pilots seemed to think that he had done anything wrong.Well, maybe Quatre did, but that boy thought fighting in general was wrong, so he wasn't even going to _ask_ about killing.But if the others were right, then why did Wufei still feel guilty?Why couldn't he remove Treize from his thoughts?

_Maybe I should ask one of the others about it, _Wufei thought.But he truly did not like that idea.Even if he _were_ to ask one of the others, who would it be?Not Quatre, that boy just disturbed him.Not Trowa either.Trowa might _listen_, but he certainly wouldn't give Wufei any advice.Trowa didn't talk much.Definitely not Heero.Heero seemed even more unbalanced than he was most of the time.That left Duo.Of course, if he talked to Duo, the other pilots would know within a matter of hours.

But it didn't matter, for he wasn't going to ask any of them for help.He was Chang Wufei.He needed no one.Sally had already asked him what was wrong, but he hadn't told her.He couldn't tell her.He hadn't even told her about Nataku, how was he supposed to tell her about this Treize thing?

Why was he so obsessed with this man he had barely known?Why were his dreams, and his waking thoughts as well, so focused on Treize Khushrenada?

"It sounds to me like you're in love with him," Duo said. 

Wufei had finally buckled down and called the hyper pilot almost an hour ago.After Wufei had snapped at Duo to cut the chatter, the pilot of Deathscythe had actually shut up and listened.

And he had been serious when dealing with this, which was something for which Wufei had been extremely grateful.But what Duo had just said…

"I'm what?"

"It honestly sounds to me like you're in love with him Wufei.I mean, you're constantly thinking of him, he's in your dreams, and you feel guilty about killing him.If you ask me, your state of mind sounds a lot like Quatre's after he almost killed Trowa.You might wanna talk to him."

"No," Wufei said with a shiver."I'm not like Quatre, and I'm not calling him."

"Geez, Wufei.Calm down!It was only a suggestion.Besides, there's nothing wrong with Quatre."

Wufei sighed. "Do you have any other analyses, Duo?"

"No," he responded with a happy smile."I gave you what I think is wrong.Either you love Treize, or you're just obsessed.If you love him, then you're out of luck.Sorry Wufei."

"It's all right, Duo.I don't think I'm in love with him, but thanks anyway."

"Call Quatre.Seriously, he might be able to help."

And with that he hung up and was gone.

# 

The phone shrilled to life 2 hours or so after Wufei talked to Duo.Wufei answered it with a sigh.

"Hi Wufei!" Quatre chirped as the image crackled to life."Duo told me that you were having a problem and he said I could help!"

Wufei sighed in irritation at the vision of the blonde pilot.Leave it to Duo.When Wufei refused to call Quatre, Duo had Quatre call him.

"There's nothing you can do, Quatre." Wufei growled.

"Duo told me you'd say that."

Wufei's already narrow eyes narrowed even further.

"What else did Duo tell you?" he asked.

"He said that you might be in love with Treize."

"I am not in love with Treize!"

"Wufei, tell me what's wrong.Please."

Wufei sighed.He decided that for the sake of his sanity he should do it and get it over with.He quickly explained the situation to Quatre, who only listened.

"Well?" Wufei asked Quatre when he finished.

"You love him," Quatre said simply."Duo told me you had all the signs.But I didn't really believe him."

"I can't be in love with Treize.He's dead."

"That hardly matters.I loved Trowa when I thought he was dead."

"That's different.That's you."

"Do you think about Treize when you make love to Sally?" Quatre asked, blushing furiously as he did.

"What kind of question is that?!" Wufei sputtered.

He often did think of Treize when he made love to Sally, but there was no way he was telling Quatre _that._

"If you do, then you love him."

"I don't follow your logic, Quatre."

"Do you and Sally have sex or make love?"Again Quatre turned a shade of red that wasn't quite possible in nature.

"We make love," Wufei answered after a moment of cautious silence.

"Well, if you think of Treize while making love to Sally, then what you really want to be doing is making love to Treize.And in order to do make love to a person, you have to love them.Otherwise it's just sex."

Wufei paled but said nothing.

"Wufei?Are you all right?"

"Fine Quatre.I'll talk to you later."And with that he clicked off the phone.

That night, Wufei screamed out Treize's name when he was making love to Sally.She threw him out of bed and stormed out of the house.He didn't know if she would be back, and he truthfully didn't care.Because after the events of the day, he had realized something.He really _did_ love Treize Khushrenada.Yes, Wufei loved a man he couldn't have.A man who he had killed with his own hands.And because of this, all Wufei was left with was dreams and memories. 


End file.
